A Church Family For Young Adults (& Everyone Else)

Churches must provide a robust theology of work and vocation that prioritizes work done in the “secular” world as much as work done in the world of formal ministry. Churches can help young adults see their workplaces as seedbeds of personal and kingdom transformation. Many young adults are searching for meaning in their daily work—they want to know that their work “matters.” Churches can provide young adults with a theological framework for understanding the spiritual meaning of their work, even and especially when that work seems rote or unglamorous.

A church family can also be helpful when it comes to navigating relationships outside the immediate family. For instance, if we are working a full-time job, it typically means we are spending more waking hours with our coworkers than with anyone else, often including our families. Workplace relationships have a profound effect on our well-being. Church leaders can provide tools that help us manage conflict, communicate well and build trust in any important relationship in our lives.

Churches can also help ambitious young adults find their ultimate identity in who God says they are, not in what they do and accomplish. That comes from faithfully preaching the gospel and from creating communities where people are celebrated for who they are, not what they do.

One obvious answer is simply to create community—to offer plenty of opportunities for women in various life stages to connect with each other through deep conversation, fun and rest. The local church can be a primary place for young adults to find connection in the midst of changes in job, location and relationship status, especially in their early- to mid20s, when life feels very in flux.

But the loneliness and isolation that many young women experience probably won’t be solved by one-off church events. We have to address the ways that digital technology isolates many young people, including Christians, from real connection, even as it makes us feel more connected than ever. Churches can provide theological resources and spiritual tools that keep technology in its proper place, and that create opportunity for in-theflesh connection and community.

Churches have a crucial role to play in providing a positive and life-giving narrative of singleness, one that emphasizes its blessings and freedoms. This is a core biblical principle, but unfortunately, many single Christians, myself included, have experienced a Christian subculture that envisions marriage and family as the highest or best calling. Instead, churches can teach that no one life situation is better than the other, that each has its unique blessings and challenges.

Single Christians should ask their faith communities to make sure they are visible in church leadership. If all of the visible leaders in a church community are married with kids, that can unhelpfully reinforce the notion that marriage and family are required for effective ministry—but Jesus and Paul seem to think differently.