“I thought constant sacrifice was noble. Now I realize rest, joy and hobbies are part of how God wired us.”
Relational health is one of the greatest challenges pastors face—yet it’s also one of the most overlooked. Barna research shows that, while pastors often score high in areas like vocational fulfillment and spiritual growth, they tend to lag behind in relational well-being—even more than practicing Christians.
In this candid conversation, Mike Kelsey, lead pastor at McLean Bible Church, discusses the practical realities of building and maintaining healthy relationships alongside pastoral ministry. As the leader of a large, diverse, multigenerational congregation in the Washington, D.C. metro area, Kelsey reflects on how he’s learning to prioritize relational health in his marriage, parenting and ministry—and why it matters for the long haul.
Q: You’ve been in ministry at McLean Bible Church for nearly two decades. What’s something you’ve learned about relationships during that time?
Mike Kelsey: One of the biggest things I’ve realized is how difficult it is to maintain deep relationships in adulthood. In college, I experienced a level of relational closeness—with my brothers in Christ—that was transformative. But that kind of depth is hard to come by when you’re juggling ministry, family and leadership responsibilities. The demands of adulthood pull at your time. Without intentionality, your most important relationships can suffer.
