Faith Heritage & Histories

An Unlikely Faith

A Profile of Respondents Who Grew up with Negative Examples of Christianity

What causes an adult who might be disillusioned with the Church and Christianity to stick with or come back to the faith? This is a question church leaders and many parents might ask, particularly as recent years have seen an uptick in the number of adults who become “church dropouts.” New Barna data shows that, since 2011, the percentage of 18–to–29-year-olds who dropped out of the Church and / or their faith has increased from 59 percent to 64 percent.¹²Additionally, our Gen Z study reports that atheism is more likely among today’s teens than any other generation.¹³ In seeking some answers, it might be helpful to observe the group of practicing Christian adult respondents in this study who say they have come by a deep faith (usually in their teen years or early 20s) in spite of the fact that they had negative—or, at the least, mixed—feelings about the way Christianity was presented to them in their youth. In qualitative interviews, individuals who fit this category described “starting over” or “zig-zagging” in their faith practice over time. The quantitative studies help track that meandering spiritual journey.

The responses of this segment point to some estrangement in family units—and the problem seems most to lie with their parents. Though they still note fathers and mothers as Christian presences from their upbringing, this group is more likely to name siblings, grandparents, other relatives and close friends as important spiritual figures in their youth. As adults, Christians with negative spiritual upbringings are consistently less likely than those with other heritages to identify their mothers or fathers as individuals who set a Christian example, taught them about God or encouraged church attendance. Their parents also less often come up as sources of help for other needs, like advice, sympathy or money. Just over half in this faith heritage group, which tends to be represented by Millennials and Gen X, say they continue any unique Christian traditions they learned from their family of origin, compared to two-thirds of those who positively identified with their childhood faith and three-quarters of those who explored faith with someone else in their youth. There are other signs of continued strain even in their current households; when describing their home environments, which are less interactive on several counts, the word “tense” pops up more.

For adults with this complicated faith heritage, regular activities, sensitive discussions or mere texts and phone calls with their immediate family of origin are rare. But there are still signs that these Christians are rooted in loving community, even if they are generally distant from their parents or siblings. If married, they prefer to sort out their faith views and practices with a partner; in fact, they are one of the rare groups who says a spouse even teaches them about traditions (perhaps because they are unlikely to feel attached to or warm toward any from their childhood, or because their spouse first drew them toward or back into a positive faith). They are also more likely than those with other faith backgrounds to report having multiple friends who feel like family.

These facts, as well as evidence of their strong commitment to scripture and other tenets of faith, give an impression of adults who have found refuge and stability—perhaps for the first time—in a faith and community that they chose and cultivated on their own. To them, Christianity isn’t an heirloom; it’s an anchor.

The Role of Doubt in Faith Formation

by Rev. Dr. Jason Broge

“Does God really listen to our prayers?” “Do you really believe your Christian denomination is right and all others are wrong?” “Is Jesus really the only way to heaven?” “If God is loving, would he really send anyone to hell?” “I’m not so sure that God really created everything in just seven days.”

The question can come in many forms; sometimes it isn’t even a question, just an expression of doubt. For many Christians, there are few things scarier than being cornered by someone in your household who is struggling with some fundamental doubt about the faith. This fear is likely even more acute for parents who, as this report demonstrates (page 109), are often the first people children will bring their questions to. As Christians, we have this innate desire to protect kids from religious doubts in the hope that this will keep them within the walls of the kingdom. Yet research suggests that our desire to protect people from doubt may do more harm than good. Studies show doubt is an important part of the process in forming a healthy religious identity. As one researcher put it, “If a genuine and vibrant identity cannot emerge without exploration and doubt is linked to this criteria, then doubt of any kind … appears to be related to healthy psychological development.”¹⁴

At first glance, this seems counterintuitive to many people. Part of the problem stems from how we define doubt. Within the Church, doubt is often seen as synonymous with unbelief. Yet for the purposes of research into human growth and development, doubt is distinct from unbelief. Doubt is a hesitation, a temporary divide in thought created “by the collision of evidence with prior belief, or one belief with another.”¹⁵ It is the attempt to resolve a mental disequilibrium “by pushing some ideas toward more certainty” over other ideas.¹⁶ Unbelief, on the other hand, is an outright rejection of a belief or idea, a “resolute state of mind involving a definitive conviction of falsity regarding an issue.”¹⁷ Religious doubt can lead to unbelief, but it does not have to lead to unbelief. Doubt, by its very nature, leads to both a stronger belief in something and unbelief in something else.

Therefore, the question is not whether doubt will lead to unbelief, but which beliefs will be strengthened and which beliefs will be rejected. Doubt can lead to a strengthening of one’s beliefs that Jesus is the only way to heaven even as it pushes one away from a pluralistic view of the road to heaven.

But what if it doesn’t?

That “what if?” is the fear that keeps Christian parents from engaging in spiritual conversations about doubts with their children. The problem is these doubts don’t go away. Doubt cannot be avoided; it is a natural part of human development. Research into human growth and development demonstrates that doubt is a key process a person goes through to confirm and take ownership of their identity. It occurs in all spheres of life, from work and family to social and religious realms. The period of time that defines how well a person will be able to handle the doubts life will continually throw at them is right around ages 18 to 24.18 This is the time of life when the individual is transitioning from adolescence into young adulthood, transitioning from a time when decisions were being made by others (parents, school, church) to being made by self. The doubts come from all angles of life, not just the spiritual realm: Do I really want to go to college? Am I just a Republican / Democrat because my parents are? What if I don’t want to get married? But of course, the questions are spiritual too. How can they not be? As Lesslie Newbigin once wrote: “The story the church is commissioned to tell, if it is true, is bound to call into question any plausibility structure which is founded on other assumptions.”¹⁹

Doubt is not the enemy. It is inevitable. And it is important to understand that humans cannot live in the state of doubt forever. They find a way to resolve the doubt and either strengthen the core belief or reject it for another one. They naturally seek sources to help them process and resolve doubts. They turn first to sources that are seen as safe and knowledgeable in the area. With this in mind, as Christian parents, we want our children coming to us with questions and doubts; we want the doubts brought to the household, not hidden from it; we want to be the safe person who can guide them through this “state of mental disequilibrium.”

This does not mean we need to have all the answers—but it does mean that we need to create households where people feel safe to talk about and explore their doubts with the help of loved ones. This is not something to wait for. It is best begun when children are young and naturally bring questions to their parents. These questions can be welcomed and encouraged even as answers are sought together. This creates a pattern of safety and exploration that will become the norm when children are older. Households should embrace doubt as the way to strengthen and create vibrant faith together.

Rev. Dr. Jason Broge

Rev. Dr. Jason Broge is the associate director of design and development for Lutheran Hour Ministries. Jason served as a teacher for a number of years before becoming a pastor. After obtaining his PhD in education, he went on to serve as the director of curriculum design and development for Concordia Seminary.